Mary…Mary…Mary

17 blunts in a day….I was a legit weed smoker. Backwoods. Phillies. Tops. Hot showers with a fat j. Matching an el with a fly dude or my girls from New York whose accent became even doper when they got lazy with their lips. I never smoked what I didn’t see rolled and I had a thing for leaves; so an Optimo or el Producto was right up my alley.

I was happiest when I was high. But real talk I was addicted. Not addicted to the weed but addicted to the smoother version I was when I was as relaxed as possible. Nothing bugged me. Bitches didn’t phase me. Dudes didn’t move me. I would coast, contemplate and could care less about much.

It was the BEST not letting life totally distract me. But I was distracted by other things. I used weed to coat the parts of my personality I wasn’t willing to work with. I was emotional. I was angry. I was suicidal. I was lonely. I was distrustful of most and didn’t believe in myself ever.

I didn’t want to face myself so being high was the way to be.

I can’t get high like that on weed anymore. I would probably pass clean out. But with recreational marijuana making its entrance into the Great Lakes I’m so down for a little lift but I’m not the same.

I’m happy without being high. I don’t NEED extra help for that but sometimes a little blow back and baktasana is a vibe.

For those of you who are experimenting with medicinal marijuana, I look forward to sharing more about how cultures use herbs in their spiritual practices. I’ve learned that it is impossible to be this purist about life. My cultural heritage in my heart is this fusion of earthly connections in so many different ways.

If you are abusing marijuana and it is a replacement for dealing with your reality I understand. There is nothing externally that can bring you closer to your whole self. Weed in the practice of one can clear thoughts and bring about creativity and kindness. Weed in the life of someone else can bring about a solemness and solitude, angst. Finding your way along the path will bring to you so many experiences.

As you experience life and its many offerings consider if the things you indulge in take you further away from your higher self or close to. I am of the mind that all that is for me align in my favor…so when I fudge up for real I am energized despite the depletion of money, health, companionship.

So for my “bud”ies out, there is no better high than an organic lift. Let the earth share its karma, light it up, pass it to the left and toke away.

Peace y’all

Mila K.

Want a little soundscape for your rotation….check out my Herbalist playlist on Spotify.


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2 thoughts on “Mary…Mary…Mary

  1. Wow! This post right here is what I needed to see! I am struggling with stopping. This is something that I have used to help with my anxiety. At first it started as recreational but I found myself using it for moments of coping. Definitely yoga and meditation is something that I am trying to focus more on to not be so dependent on it.

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    1. I’ve cut back consumption tremendously. I don’t want to be dependent on any substance or circumstance to find my way back to balance. Sending you lots of love as you navigate your own journey.

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